Turtles and tortoises are perfect in every way, and yet the internet is still dominated by cats. I honestly shouldn't need to explain this to you guys, but here's why you should be giving turtles your attention instead.
Regarding toilet paper:
Cats shred the crap out of it.
Source: 3.bp.blogspot.com / via: patadaaseguir.es
But turtles will fold the ends for you.
Regarding laptops: